Well, this resolves a 3 week investigation.
It turns out that there were a few things that caused this. To answer the question "why did it break", i have no idea. all i can say is that this resolved the problem.
1) in the web.config file for all the WFE's i removed the proxy. (it seems that proxy thought that the other servers were not local). so i changed
<defaultProxy>
<proxy usesystemdefault="false" proxyaddress="http://proxy:8080" bypassonlocal="true" />
</defaultProxy>
to
<defaultProxy>
<proxy usesystemdefault="true" />
</defaultProxy>
2) this then caused the error to change from 404 Not Found to HTTP Error 401.1 - Unauthorized: Access is denied due to invalid credentials.
to fix this, i rant the following command in c:\intepud\adminscripts\ on all the WFE's
cscript adsutil.vbs set w3svc/NTAuthenticationProviders "NTLM"
3) this still didn't resolve my problems, so i ran this command on all the WFE's
aspnet_regiis.exe -i
4) voila! it wokred
5) then, interestingly, i renabled the proxy to make RSS work again and the reports continued to work.
i have no idea why this worked! i only know that it did work.
You cannot make anything fool-proof... Fools are too inventive
http://dotnet.org.za/doubleJ